Getting Old

As I was reading an old 1993 issue of one of my favorite comics “Eightball” I was thinking about one of heroes: Dan Clowes. He’s the only comic guy who is so hateful and pissed off at whatever fad or trend that has come only (and even some obscure ones like pointing the razor at garage hipsters). He did hang out with these jokers before it became rehashed and regurgitated for todays stupid people. Most comics didn’t target how stupid things had become and then at the same time be completely self-debasing, I totally identified with Eightball then. In Florida there was none I knew except Max who also read this comic, most people were way into the storylines of Marvel or D.C., which now I own five shirts of Marvel villains and wear them every other day (I mean they are crazy comfortable). But then I have to also relate to comic nerds, but usually I just say I really like horror comics more.

Anyway so what brings me to this blog entry is how in youth and old age there are the moments of glory and triumph that happen. The one mark you leave on the earth for generations to take with them and use as their own identity or some great minute you had that left an impact in your own world. Mine was getting one of favorite British R&B rocknroll bands booked into their first U.S. tour ever. This band was The Downliners Sect and thus far, this has been one of 2 minutes of glory for me. You must get them all out there in the open or they crumble and turn to dust. It’s also really hard to do this with the distractions of everything (tv,internet,movies,music). My point is it’s hard to know what you will do with your time and noone can be preserved forever in that state where they had that moment of glory and always be remembered for that incident. Except serial killers, great writers and suicides. But those are some of the worst examples in modern history. I haven’t even reached the prime of what I want to be remembered by yet and things always change. I’m out of work and feelings really depressed lately and this is my outlet for frustration.

So I met Dan Clowes at Piedmont in Oakland and I had to tell him how much he meant to me. I didn’t actually say hey man you shaped my whole identity and I like how much we both hate the world in the same self imploding way, but I wanted to. It’s the same thing with South Park, they have fucked with everything and parodied everything to the point were reality is starting to mimic cartoons and both of these artists( Clowes and Trey Parker/ Matt Stone) were at the battlefront and fired at closer range before it got stale and someone did a lame joke about it. They shot the fish in the barrels of culture. Clowes is done ripping on things but South Park will continue. Daniel Clowes has transitioned to a Bay Area style dude who now just does slice of life “Charles Shultz” comics and I have to accept it. I’m annoyed by this transition but there’s no way to remain hateful and critical of everything forever. I’m sure he didn’t plan out the rest of his adulthood and said that’s my plan to turn into this guy, just like David Lynch didn’t plan out to become the boring fucking digital video/ transidental meditation spokesman he’s become. I guess everyone eventually turns into an embarrassing version of themselves and it’s better to become a lame ass adult then to fight the world forever, so let the dream die already. I later went to a book signing with my wife and he got into a rare comic nerd discussion with her about her rare copy of “Ghost World”. And I bet he was thinking what is this girl doing with this total loser? But I’ll never know for sure.