Human Garbage Pail Kids

******* WARNING THE FOLLOWI NG COMMENTS CONTAIN VILE SUBJECT MATERIAL, SO DON’T READ ON IF YOU ARE EATING**********************

 

            Using vomit as a weapon is an incredible skill and there are two disgusting human beings that deserve the moniker of human garbage pail kid: they are Sam Neill and Bill Chepil. Sam Neill performed this normal human function to narrowly escape an abduction in Roger Donaldson’s (Smash Palace, Species) little seen film “Sleeping Dogs”. He is in the back of a cab and spies are planning on throwing him in the big house and he plunges his fingers down his throat in order to bring forth the acid on the bottom of his stomach along with an orange wave of used lunch. It spills all over the perpetrators and he manages to disarm the abuser enough for him to unlock the car and roll out. Bill Chepil is an amazing actor and not since the days of Italian Neo-Realism has there been a stellar non actor performance of “Bill” the Cop. Brilliantly and naturally executed by our next subject, today on Frank Talk with Crankenstein (wearing a skinned mask of James Lipton). Mr. Bill Chepil who after beating the shit out of a scumbag kicks his head in a million times and shoving it into the bottom of a urinal stall and then punching his sausage fingers down his gullet and upchucking all over the poor victims bashed in head. This is the only credit for Mr. Chepil who went back to doing what he does best, playing a bad ass cop in real life. Had he made another film, I believe he could’ve rivaled Jon Voight in tough but sensitive charisma. But alas it was not meant to be. That’s why Sam Neill wins the award for human garbage kid cause he did the same act of using vomit as a weapon twice on film (and possibly more in real life). I’m speaking of course about 1981’s B-movie/Arthouse mindwarp “Possession”. After trapping a fancy dancing (what it again this guy is hilarious) german man who has cheated on Neill’s wife played by Isabella Adjani. He plugs the john up with a found shoe and sticks a feather down his throat in a gleeful fashion and proceeds to drown the german guy in the toilet. So remember watch more fucked up arthouse trash and well see you at the movies.