Now that I’ve written a ludicrous tirade about how much Bob Ginty sucks as a Charles Bronson impersonator, I figured right now at 12:53 am it’s high noon to spend some time listening to my itunes on random and dredge up a fitting tribute to my favorite vigilante tough guy superhero.
I’ve seen The Mechanic a lot, mainly because it’s on all the time now. Every time I see Jan Michael Vincent (from Sid & Marty Kroft’s Danger Island) give Chuck the poison glass of wine that sends him spiraling to the floor in agony. I want to smash Jan’s(What kind of name is Jan for a man!) stupid face and slap the wine out of his hand, whatta prick! I saw the Bio Classics episode on Charles Bronson and here’s some of the information I took away from that: 1.Bronson stole Jill Ireland away from David Mccallum 2.They did a lot of movies together after that (and preferred working with each other sort of a more famous version of Christopher George and his wife) 3.He was Jack Klugman’s roommate. I think as Bronson got older the Death Wish franchise got better and more outrageous as it went along. Like in, part 3 where he helps old people set traps and defend themselves from punks in the ghetto. His girlfriend get vaporized in a car fire, but why should he care? His family has been murdered and re-murdered in every movie. It became after while, like he was running a marathon with Jason from Friday The 13th and Dirty Harry, but then again he was killing both of him at least in film quality.The only rotten thing that came out of it was (aside from bad reviews) a subway shooting
Stallone has threatened to remake The Mechanic, which he already tried to fuck up “Get Carter” and succeeded. Bronson is the perfect model for what an old actor should accomplish the end of their career, even though nowadays it wouldn’t work. The 80’s was the only time (out side of it’s hey day) that exploitation could thrive. You accept more ridiculous-ness, hence the term “Hey man, it was the 80’s?” You could accept an elderly man would walk into a bad neighborhood and set traps for street punks and shoot a hand cannon without breaking his fingers off. You would believe that a cop who should’ve retired a million years ago could shoot a serial killer right in the face and finish the job. All these old actors that are taking the “Hollywood equivalent” of a Wal-Mart greeter job, should be ashamed! Then again there is no veteran director interested in cashing in on sleaze anymore, somebody who did it right like J. Lee Thompson (who went from the original “Cape Fear” to all the late great Bronson flicks, he even directed “Happy Birthday to Me!”)
In The “Evil That Men Do” he grabs Miguel Angel Fuentes’dick (star of Puma Man) and battles Clement Molloch (Joseph Maher, who I remember from an episode of Seinfeld where he gets Jerry to babysit his dog Farfall) here he plays a masked madman with a torture lab and zaps this dude’s balls until her bleeds to death(Holy shit that is a great flick!) Bronson is a CIA agent who has a pet dolphin(or some other exotic fish he talks to).By the way here’s a whole IMDB message board about why would Bronson’s character grab Puma man guy’s dick
somebody made a Death Wish 3 videogame(for some reason)
There's a whole blog devoted the Chuck(further proof that only creepy hipsters think Chuck Norris is cool)
Favorite Charles Bronson films:
Death Wish 3
The Evil The Men Do
10-midnight
The Mechanic
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